"Thor" Review

        
            Everyone who loves comics has at least one favorite character. It’s the one character you’ll defend to the death in an argument with other comic book nerds that will eventually lead to bloodshed, broken glasses and a suspended D&D game. It may be your favorite character from your childhood, or maybe you only recently started paying attention to comics and found one you like (or you claim to ironically enjoy them, in which case you’re a hipster bastard and I don’t want you reading this).

           My favorite character has always been Thor. Don’t get me wrong; I love the shit out of the X-Men and grew up watching their Sunday morning cartoon and reading their comics, but Thor (and the Avengers) was always what I came back to. They had the best adventures, the evilest enemies and the greatest battles and, at the center of all of this, was Thor; quiet, calm, wise and ready to stomp a hammer-sized mud hole in anything that decided to make the mistake of fucking with him.

So, let’s lay it on the line here, Randomites. As a former basement-dwelling comic book nerd (I have my own place now with big windows, but the light burns my skin) I went in to Thor with a lot of trepidation and uncertainty. I’m not going to say that I know the entire Thor cannon from start to finish, but I know one thing from the other. I had so many questions when I was walking in. Would they mess up the origin of Loki and Thor? Would Odin still be a badass? Were the battles going to be epic slobber knockers with lots of lightning and old English? How many Avengers references could they pack in to the film and would they just serve to piss me off? All of these questions and many, many more were answered and, quite frankly, I didn’t have any nerd rage and I wasn’t disappointed.

            Thor, directed by Kevin Branaugh of Shakespeare fame, is the story of Thor (what, seriously? Holy shit, now it all makes sense), the brash, arrogant and head strong first-born son of Odin, the All-Father and ruler of the 9 realms. Long ago, Odin won a war against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim, one of the other realms. After the war, a truce was declared and Odin took the source of the Frost Giant’s power, ending their reign and beginning an era of peace. But, when the Frost Giants attempt to steal their prize back, Thor attacks their home planet and reignites the war, forcing Odin to banish him to Earth where he must learn humility and the value of self sacrifice among the humans before he can retain his powers. Thor’s younger brother Loki, the God of mischief, sets his plan for taking the throne and removing Thor from the picture through manipulation, lies and an 18-foot-tall murder bot.

            Now, Thor could have been a giant, steaming pile of pony loaf. Marvel has always had a hit-or-miss track record with their movies, but since the organization of the actual Marvel Studios group, things have changed. Iron Man proved that comic book movies could be impressive, well done and funny, so Thor went with the same thing.

            The action scenes are well choreographed and set up (especially the first 20 minutes of the film, which is full of Thor stomping Frost Giant ass) but they tend to be short. Thor’s battles in the comic books were giant, destructive epics and the film seems to have been quicker to focus on who he is and what makes him tick, rather than just showing him being a Nordic hammer-tossing maniac.

            While the film is certainly full of giant, impressive battles and amazing sets, it’s the “fish out of water” and slap-stick moments that make for an entertaining time. The way he speaks to people is particularly funny, especially when he first arrives on Earth Watching Thor walk in to a pet store and demand a horse is pretty funny, especially after the clerk responds “We only have dogs, cats and fish”, prompting Thor to ask for one that’s big enough to ride.

            The cast of Thor is also something worth mentioning. Two Oscar winning actors (Natalie Portman, my future wife, and Anthony Hopkins) and two relative unknowns (Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Tom Hiddleston as Loki) make for an interesting cast. Many people worried that Portman and Hopkins would steal the show, but Hemsworth does a great job as Thor. He doesn’t over do it or try to out act anyone; he simply has fun, swings his hammer and kicks the shit out of everyone. Hiddleston, as Loki, pulls of the silver-tongued trickster just right.

            So, while I liked almost the entire movie, there are a few things that bugged me. There are some continuity issues here and there and a few small plot holes and, as a nerdy fan boy, I have to vent about the way that members of Asgard were shown. The Warriors Three, comic-book and mythological companions of Thor, are one of my favorite things about the comic, though they are sadly underused in the film. There are also a few small things that will only bug die-hard comic book nerds and Norse mythology buffs, but the average fat, stupid film-goer isn’t going to care. They’re there to cram overly-buttered popcorn into their face holes and watch a giant, shaven-chested (hairless Viking warrior Gods? Yup) muscle machine smash some bad guys.

            So, in the end, this is a film worth seeing. The action is good, the story is great and nothing is really to terribly screwed up. Summer has to start off with a bang and Thor is definitely the film for the job. Marvel is keeping up with their word and producing good, entertaining films that keep the fans happy and build toward next summer’s release of The Avengers, a movie that I’m hoping and dreaming will be amazing…though it will probably just make myself and the legions of neck-bearded fan boys mad. And you won’t like us when we’re mad.

Thor gets 4 out of 5 Laughing Lincolns

Be sure to stick around for the Green Lantern, Captain America and X-Men: First Class, all three of which will either be awesome and well done or total shit-shows that I’ll get to mercilessly tear down and pee on.

Thanks for reading, Randomites. You may now go back to staring blankly at your computer and surfing the interwebs for midget porn, clam-chowder recipes and funny pictures of kitty cats.


Review written by Angry Movie Nerd
Writer, Editor, Nerd and Head Pancake Batter Mixer